Project Stepping Stone.Com
I was doing some looking around today and wondered if I could find my old site. And Behold, I found the remnants of it still lurking around in the deep, deep dark crevices of dead sites. The buttons to navigate around the site even still worked. So I poked around just a might to look inside and view the memories of what was going to be a grand venture. The venture, when it was unfolding, was fun and I have no regrets that I tried. Strange thing about such dealings is that they don't seem real. You work and work on it for such a long time to set everything up. Planning and making decisions to drive it to reality. But it still just won't sink in until perhaps it has come and gone. Then you think "I did that." I actually pulled it off and somehow it became the reality that I had drempt of for a long time.
I am of course talking about my short lived stint as a concert promoter for fund raising and musicians. Standing on the stage that night back in February of 2005, the sounds and the smells along with getting the bands inside and awaiting the arrival of the caterer, it still felt somewhat...Unreal. Not until the sound and lighting checks were complete did it begin to sink in. For me it was strange to know that I was the promoter and had the ability to go into every corner of the place I wished. Behind the stage or up to the sound booth or anywhere else, I could do it because it was my show.
I also remember the sinking feeling when the crowd that was expected was much much smaller than hoped for. The thought crept into my head that I had failed as I sat in one of the dark seats looking at the stage and the great music coming from Lee Tyler Post. Getting up and venturing to the balcony for a look around then outside the back stage entrance. I had a smoke then wandered back inside and took up another seat by myself. After a short while my partner came up from back stage and sat down beside me. To my recollection neither of us spoke a word but just sat there in the dark together. I'm sure he must have said something at one point but I felt sick and don't remember. After he moved on, one of my brothers who had helped out with the show came over and sat down. He looked at me briefly and I at him then we sat there taking in the fine music of Abe Reid and the Spike Drivers.
The feeling was hopeless at the failure of a dead show, the realization it was not going to produce as planned.
After words, my partner paid the bands and we cleaned up the place. Outside in the parking lot, everyone involved in the show gathered around and we discussed what had gone on. I had even found out part of why it failed was not of my doing. But it was all on my shoulders and I had to deal with that part by myself. I did try not to let it show to much at the show and gathered all I had to hold my head up and be professional during the episode.
Some kind words during the meeting after the show did help. Then it hit me...I followed that dream, hard as it was to take at the end, and made it a reality.
Had I never gone through with it I'd have always wondered what if. How many others out there have wanted to do something but never went out and tried. Not everything is going to be the big success that you hope it will be and you might lose. The worst part though is never taking that risk at all.