No Wind In My Sails
I don't know what is was today, there was no wind in my sails. Last night I was out in my shop until late, very late as I do when I'm into something. I keep on while telling myself "just one more minute and I'll stop" then I find myself plugging on after that minute has gone. Before I know it's happening my eyes start getting tired and my mind goes off in several directions of possibilities. It's then I notice no progress is being done. When I shut off the drill press, bench grinder, heater, radio and lights twas well after 1 a.m as I stumbled through the pathway to the house.
I crawled into bed with a good feeling in what I'd completed but a bit unsettled about the bender not being finished how I wanted. The larger bender I fabed up from junk was doing pretty good until made the tube I was working on stop making the curve and instead folded the tube right at a point that ruined it beyond repair.
I guess many other things are in my subconscious bothering me with worry as I supress it during woken hours. During the night I woke up a few times even being dogged tired. There was the good dream that turned into a nightmare and it was still very vivid when I awoke with a start an exclamation at noon. I had slepted for the most part of ten hours. I was pissed at myself as there were things I wanted to do today. Getting up, smoked a cigarette, getting some coffee and a muffin then plopping down in my easy chair to watch some TV for a minute, Jeremiah Johnson was on and well, motivation was to watch it. The wind just wasn't in my sails even after I got dressed. For a thirty minute strand in the shop I was just not into it so cut off the lights. All these other un-said things are bringing me down and zapping any energy I had. Soon it will pass I'm hoping.