But sometimes, doing nothing is the best thing an article in the paper by James A. Fussell from the Knight Ridder News Service.
I was glad to see this article in the paper as it hits home with me. It talks about parents who keep their children so busy and on the go with sports, or dance, or chores and everything else that is planned out for them. The kids are not allowed to have any time to just be themselves. Parents are so afraid what other parents will think of them if they do not keep every second, minute and waking hour occupied. These over zealous parents believe that their children should be stimulated by all these things else waste limited time that we have all been given. Children do not get enough down time to explore and just be themselves.
Quote from article "First, experts say, your kids have tons of things to stimulate them. They have toys, books, bikes, friends, rooms and a whole world to explore -- in the backyard or simply inside their own heads. It's not your job to find them something to do. It's theirs. A missed opportunity? Boredom is an opportunity for personal growth."
The article also says that Award-winning journalist and author Anna Quindlen credited boredom with helping her become who she is as a writer and a human being.
"Downtime," she wrote, "is where we become ourselves, looking into the middle distance, kicking at the curb, lying on the grass or sitting on the stoop and staring at the tedious blue of the summer sky. I don't believe you can write poetry, or compose music without downtime, and plenty of it --- a hiatus that passes for boredom but is really the quiet moving of the wheels inside that fuel creativity."
Here here I say. Thank you Anna for these profound statements.
My wife is just one of those parents who has to guide our child through every aspect of his life. She does everything for him and hovers over him constantly. She will not even give up the baby monitor in his room to ours, and he is eleven years old. When he goes to the bathroom, she always hollers out to him "are you okay in there?"
He does have some physical problems that he has had to overcome, but he is able to do almost everything that a normal child can do. I had to battle her about her always wiping his behind for him. She said that he needs help because its hard for him. I said that yes that was true. However, he needs to find a way to do it himself. You can't keep doing that.
She was still cutting his food up for him and would not let him use a knife, until I stood fast and made him do it much to her displeasure. She kept saying that he needed help. My two cents is that he will never be able to do anything if she doesn't stop doing it for him. He can put on his own socks and shoes because I taught him how. But he continues to get her to do it because he says its to hard. She gets mad at me when he comes to me asking that I put them on for him and I make him do it himself. He tries half ass'd at it until she takes over and does it. It causes much friction between she and I. I have to battle the both of them. He takes the easy way out because that is how she has made it and it is how he thinks it should be.
She has wrapped her whole life around his wants and needs that anything that I need or want does not matter.
I love him too, but he needs to learn, more than most kids, that he needs to be self sufficient. People have joked that when he goes off to college, that she will find a way to be at his school just as she has done in kindergarten, elementary and now middle school. I can't get her to understand that he needs to learn and do things himself. I can just see it now when he gets married. My wife will want to go on his honeymoon and he will want her to go.
Both of them think that my writing and reading is a waste of time. She thinks that every waking moment should entail a work related task. From the time you wake up until the time you go to sleep. It drives me crazy. She used to try and run my life to, and she did for years. When I finally said I'd had enough and did things that she didn't want me to do, it angers her to no end. I can still remember her messing up in a conversation with one of my brothers. I had decicded to do something that I wanted to do. She said to him that she was losing control of me and didn't know what to do. I don't try to control her or tell her what she can or can not do. What makes her think she has the right to control my life?
One day he just might stand up to her and tell her to get her own life. He will have to because otherwise, he will have no life of his own unless she gives him permission.