Saturday, March 04, 2006

Going Blank


When I was a kid I used to make my mind go blank. My mind is always going on with something these days. It will go from one thing to another in fragment thoughts. But when younger, as I said, I would practice to see if I could just go blank. Find a quiet spot, get comfortable and focus out all the noise. It would give me a peaceful feeling that I am not able to do now.
I had to do this back then because...My innocence of childhood became interrupted. It was the ultimate way of escape and survival. Looking back now I can see how this period in my childhood changed me. It makes it hard for me to let people get to close for fear of the outcome.
When your a child and everyone has left you behind, it makes things tough. When your whole family has been ripped apart by something beyond your control; you still think some part of it was your fault. For me it was like living in hell. To a child, time went on forever and a year seems much longer than it does today. Simple things like the soothing sound of rain coming down or a gentle breeze brought a brief joy. Butterflies kissing flowers, a squirrel gathering nuts and the soft glow of the gas lamp dancing on the snow could bring peacefulness to the otherwise world of loneliness and fear. I began to see and appreciate simple things. It also gave me the compassion for people that others look down on or make fun of.
Even though eventually I was allowed to go live with my father; tension was high between us and not until many years later did we really talk. But to this day we have never been able to discuss that period in our lives.

People who know what I went through and do not respect me for being able to overcome it as well as I think I have; can go jump. Things that I've been through in

I had everything I'd ever known as a child taken away from me in the wink of an eye. It wasn't my fault and if your a kid going through it; anything like it...It's not yours either. Just remember that.

4 comments:

KT Did said...

More reasons to go Coast to Coast or whereever to wherever? Yeaaaaa, I think sooooo....

WooleyBugger said...

I could ride up and see one of my brothers in Seattle before beginning the trip back 'eh. At least I'd have a place to stay a few days.

KT Did said...

I know you said no trailers...but I could ship my bike to No.Carolina, ride with you all back to Seatle and then I can just go south from there. I have friends in Oregon I can stay with and of course, Bay Area in California...then for me is another 600 miles or so home. Need to think this one out a little. hmmm.

WooleyBugger said...

The no trailers part is meant for those who might ride for awhile then trailer the bike, then down the rode get back on the bike. Exceptions being for breakdowns. But on the ride itself...all in the saddle. And people wouldn't have to ride the whole way but could join in and ride a few hundred miles if there time didn't allow for the whole trip.
Say, John and Susan join in at their home states line and ride with us to the other state line. More people could do that easy in a long weekend and would be just as much a part as anyone else.

Shipping a bike to the start of the ride or back home at the end is acceptable of course.
What I would most likly do is get with AAA Travel to map it out and people could get a copy of the route and all lodging, fuel, restuarant, and scenic spots info from there.

My brother has around ten acres in Everitt Washington but he lives and works in Seattle. A camp out would be cool at his Everitt place for the chosen few from the ride by draw or something.