Help with a Magazine start up would be appreciated. I am a writer for www.garagechoppers.com which is a small web magazine for home built choppers and more.

I would appreciate any help that anyone could provide in helping with getting a small 60 to 80 page bi-monthly magazine in print. That is close to the same format as Garagechoppers theme.

I have been looking at printing companies that will print it up after it is all layed out. I have not found one in North Carolina as of yet so I may have to farm it out further to one of the ones I found.
This would be an independant magazine without using one of the huge publisher/printers out there.
If you have tatoos, long hair, beards and a great love of doing your own work on your own bike and ride it, your what I want. Course you don't have to have all of those but we have to make a living to and why not do it; doing what you love.

Ads would need to be sold
Writers would be needed
An editor would be needed
Someone who can give advice on the printing and setup would be needed
People to write jokes
Tech writers
People who go to events and would sub-mit articles about them.
Photographers
Etc Etc Etc

Nuther words, I need a mentor and someone to help get this off the ground. If you can help or have something productive to ad please send me an e-mail at wooleybugger1@gmail.com

This would be a non-flashy type of magazine like the old days where actual readers rides would be inside and stories and travels, places to go, how to get there and more.
If your looking to get rich fast this isn't going to be it for you because this is just a start up. But maybe we can get it off the ground and put a little coin in our pockets as well to keep us afloat.

Anyone want to read something about a North Carolina Sheriff? His name is Terry Johnson www.alamanceind.com and after all this hoopla over another North Carolina Sheriff, Gerald Hege, www.hippotimes.com I don't get why this Johnson fellow is in office.

Hege is trying to get his book out about his term in office. Judging from the pictures if you look at the whole site, he thinks that he is some type of Buford Pusser. Its almost like he set up his whole law enforcement career to eventually be a movie. If it does make it to the screen, he'll be waltzing his way to the bank and laughing all the way.


Now this Terry Johnson fellow has been doing some really good things. But what else might he have in his closet that we don't know about?

I'm no watch dog but I thought that these two were quite interesting.

I was just reading some more of Billy Jone's book " Carrot on a Stick " and can't believe that I can still find something new in it each time. He has some really good poetry in there as well as short stories. I don't know how this guy finds the time to write his books as well as do his www.bloggingpoet.com site.
Some of the things he writes about in his book seems to be about me. Isn't it strange how that sometimes happens. You find out that everyone has had to deal with similar things in life.

Billy is a friend and former partner of mine in the music business. He gave me the courage to try out my dream and I am forever in his debt for that. Nobody but me knows how much. It was also Billy that got me going again in my writings. I had been stagnant for years except for my gig at www.garagechoppers.com only a few months before being introduced to Billy at a party. You see, one of my brothers is a singer/song writer who has been to Nashville on more than one occasion. He had told Billy about the site I was writing for and he took a peek.

Billy told my brother that he wanted to meet me and I was floored. Another friend and I went to the party which had musicians, some famous and some not, all gathered at my brothers little spread in upper North Carolina. My brother had all these people milling around listening to different artists as they played. This one fellow got up and sung a few songs ( Pretty damned good too) and then took a seat to talk to a pretty lady there. He overheard my friend and I talking about wives and air-conditioning or something, and leaned over adding his two cents worth. It was then that I met the talented and witty Billy Jones. The man with the long white beard and long hair had a kind air about him. My brother, being so busy working the crowd, had never formally introduced us.
He and I became friends in a relatively short time I would say. He is a smart fellow and I listen up to what he has to say. Because of him, I have begun to pay attention to more things than I had for a long time. Here is a man who is a three time published author and he was telling me how much he liked my writings. It was encouragement from an outsider that gave me that extra push to go on with it. Even though it aggravates some that I write.
You have to write something everyday, no matter how little it is or even if you keep it or trash it. You have to write or you lose it.
Billy had a stroke not long after I met him and then just as he is recovering, he loses his father. I had felt much respect from Billy, and even though I had never met his father, I think I knew what he was about from Billy. His father must have been one hell of a man judging from what I know of Billy now.

Now Billy wasn't always the man he is today and his life has not been easy so far . No, I have heard some of the stories about him. He is an Old scooter tramp that took no shit from anyone and he drove a truck for a living. Nuther words, at one time he was someone that you'd probably not have wanted to be your enemy. The area he lived in was once a center for a notorious Biker gang.
But something happened to Billy and he was changed. I know a bit about what it was but won't put it here as its not for me to say.

I am glad that I can call him a friend but I'm even gladder that he can call me a friend.

Thanks Billy for giving me courage when I was ready to give up on everything.

Got my truck over to Ford to get the clutch replaced on Friday. The friend from where I just worked my last day helped me out. He has a car trailer that he uses for a side job of dealing with pallets. Anyhow, when he arrived it was raining pretty good. My truck would only just barely move from the garage to the street. There is a slight down hill grade on the road so we parked his truck heading down hill hoping it would help. Man, we I tried to get it up the ramps onto the trailer, it wouldn't even climb the ramps. I was worried about trying to get a rolling start at it because the floor of the trailer is wood and slick from the rain.
I back up a bit and go for the ramps again and get part way up and the truck quits moving. I'm thinking "shit" its not going to go on. Two wheels are up on the floor and the back ones are still on the road. So I give it all it has left. The clutch is slipping like mad and smoke starts rolling out from the hood and from underneath. The rank smell of burning clutch is permeating the air and rolling up inside my cab stinking like hell. Finally, the old girl starts to creep up the rest of the way onto the trailer. I get off the gas just as the wheels are all on the floor of the trailer. I let her coast towards the front and my friend says to stop. He stands there looking at his trailer and truck with a concerned look on his face.

I get down for a look to. He has a F-150 and my truck is a 1992 Ford Ranger 4X4 king cab. My truck is heavier than we both thought and the front of his truck is raised quite high from the load. The trailer tongue is making the rear of his truck very close to the ground. But, he says to strap it down and we'll take it slow. He said that he's hauled other vehicles with no problem but mine is heavier than it looks.
Off we go, slowly to the dealership with no problems. When we get there, I still have to back it off the trailer down the skinny ramps. He watched for me as I put it in reverse. If I missed the ramp on either side, I'd be in a jam no doubt. Luckily the back tires were so close to the back of the trailer that it didn't take much clutch to get her moving down the ramp in the rain. "Phew weee" I was relieved to get it off without a problem and into a spot.

Now she is at the dealer awaiting her new clutch kit and I will have wheels again.

I had another Ranger 4 banger before and had around 160,000 miles on it when I got ready to replace the engine. The original clutch was still in great shape on it. My current one only has 110,ooo on it but because I have towed plenty of heavy loads with it for everybody; I wore it out pre-maturely. My current one has the 4.0 V6 and four wheeled drive.
Gosh, about eight years ago, I boiled the clutch fluid in it on the highway. I was hauling the biggest trailer that U-Haul had full of everything from a 2200 sf home inside the trailer and in back of the truck plus, stuff packed inside the truck. It was a trip over four hundred miles along the high-way. Out of habit, I put her into fifth gear going along at 70 mph for a couple of hours. I needed to pull over to a rest stop and went to down shift going down the ramp. I went for the clutch, and nothing. It went straight down to the floor. My brother in-law in the passenger seat started hollering "slow down. Why don't you down shift? Slow down." He was in a panic.

I told him that my clutch was gone and it won't go in gear. I eased on the brakes slowly and the weight of the load kept pushing on us hard. I could feel it just like someone was pushing us from behind. Not wanting to jack knife, I kept light pressure on the brakes, steadily increasing the pressure until we slowed finally to around ten mph. I then coasted into a long parking spot. Brother in-law ran for the bathroom.

I opened the hood to let everything cool down faster. We waited for about forty five minutes before the clutch came back. We went on our way with no problems but I kept it in fourth gear. Now I know why your not supposed to put a manual transmission into fifth on the highway when towing a load. People have always said not to but no-one ever seemed to know why. I DO. It will boil the hydraulic fluid and overheat the transmission.
After I get this new clutch in, I won't and will refuse to haul anything heavy again behind this truck. I have exceeded the capacity many times for others who had asked me to pull large heavy boats, house loads of stuff, trailers full of all kinds of things, and logs, what have you. My new clutch is costing me over six hundred dollars to replace not to mention being without wheels for a month and a half.

Its amazing to me though, that after that particular trip, the clutch and transmission didn't give me any problems for all this time. Its been a very dependable truck, never having left me stranded anywhere. I have had three Fords in my life so far and they have all been good vehicles.
My first Ford Ranger, 1984, 4 liter longbed, only had the factory defective valve guides in it. Other than that it was a great little truck. I wish that I could find it again. So many great memories with that truck that I bought brand new. I put it through hell and it never broke down on me but once.

I also had a 1966 Ford Galaxie with the 390, air conditioning and factory duals on it. I loved that car and it was all original and in great shape. Never treated it bad and took good care of it and kept it in a garage most everyday. Jeez do I wish that I still had it. The only reason that I sold it was because I needed to pay my taxes, and that's a different story.

Then I got my current Ranger brand new back in 1992. It has been extremely dependable and I just don't wish to get rid of it. I'll probably put a new engine in it when the time comes. But it still runs great like it did the first day I got it so it will probably be awhile before that happens. Might put a V8 in it then.

Deja Vue or Vuja Dey I can't figure it out. I noticed while reading the paper, over the last week, two articles that had been repeated from last month. "Am I crazy?" Thought I. Did I dream this or something? Hmmmm, I wondered to myself as my wife dismisses most of my thoughts anyway. No matter what I tell her on any subject, she says she already knows that. Why, just ask her a question about anything, anything and she knows it all. Go ahead and ask her yourself. You'll see that she already knows it, been there done that no matter what the subject. She knows it all, so it makes for very short and boring conversation. She is good at convincing people of that but I know better. She's like a chameleon and can make you think she knows about something by dancing around the edges of it. Why, even though she's only flown once in her life she'll have you believing she trains pilots. But back to my story as I got off track there. LOL

The articles repeated in the paper were, one about job seeking people with tattoos. The other is about a local women who has written a story about her mothers Alzheimer's and what she went through. Its going to be in a Kitchen soup for the soul aimed at Hispanics book.
Now I just knew that I had read both of these articles before. When I showed it to my wife she says "I already read that awhile back." I said "yea me too but here it is again today." So at least I know that I'm not totally crazy.

But I wonder why the paper is reprinting articles here and there. Is it just to fill space from laziness? Or perhaps, they are testing us to see if we pay attention. Hmmmmmm. I do know its not Ground Hog day like the movie with Bill Murray in it. How do I know? Because a few weeks ago my broken down truck was covered with dust and cobwebs and now it is at the Ford Dealership getting a new clutch installed.

I got the Job at Honda and will start at the plant on Wednesday next week.
I had told my boss that I was looking for another job on July the 11th. On Thursday of this week I informed him that I did get the job and wanted to give him notice. But he got pissed and told me that Friday was my last day and don't bother coming in next week. So I packed up all my stuff and turned in my keys and uniforms, my cell-phone and anything else that I had and took it in today. He probably only spoke twenty words to me all day and tried to avoid me at all cost. I just can't believe that this person with whom I worked with for so many years could get so icy cold and wouldn't even come out of his office when it was time for me to leave.

So I went in and told him thanks for all the years and hoped everything went well with him. Then I reached out my hand to shake his and he didn't even look me in the face but briefly. When I grabbed up my belongings and micro-wave and things and struggled to turn the doorknob with my hands full, he didn't even get up to help with the door. Neither did his new guy, who just sat there with a smirk on his face.

It sucked, that this man who is younger than me and I helped to build his business could be so cold. I mean, I remember when he found out his new wife was pregnant and he told me he wasn't ready and didn't know how to deal with having a kid. He was angry and scared at the same time. He said he would never love that child and I told him that yes he would. He said no and I told him that when he held her and saw her for the first time that he would and not to worry. He'd do just fine.
I held his child when she was newborn and I filmed her at plays and things when she was growing up. He would talk to me at times when his marriage was on the rocks and I helped him through it. When he was out of town and his wife was scared to be alone, I had friends on the Police Department keep an eye on her house. He had to have chemo for a brain tumor and I was there for him when he needed to talk. We were more than just co-workers but friends I thought as well.

I worked my butt off for that place and helped to build it but after it was all said and done, they treated me like dirt. All I have to show for it is twelve wasted years .................. A jacket and hat we got one year for Christmas.

Companies want employee loyalty but they don't give anything back anymore.

A simple "Thanks for all your hard work" would have been fine.
I feel sorry for my fellow worker that I left there and formed a friendship with all these years. They had already started treating him like an idiot too when it started with me and now he's there by himself. After all these years ,we both all of a sudden became idiots when in company newsletters for years, they said how they had the best crew. Customers even commented to them on how we did our jobs. Many of them gave us a little something at Christmas for their appreciation.

I don't know ........... I just don't get it.

Well, its over and done and its time for better things. Honda may not be it, I hope it is, but I have been told that if it doesn't work out there, if its not want I want to do, a few other places would be glad to have me.
They know how I do my job.

Banning smoking in your private vehicle and fining you upwards of $150.00 should be a crime in itself. Philadelphia is wanting to make it a law and it covers all smoking. Not just cigarettes either. This is the government getting way out of hand again. They can't stop illegal drug use or drinking and driving, rape, murder, extortion, identity theft, road rage, speeding, car theft, or any of those actual crimes that occur on a daily basis.

So what do they do? Why, go after those smokers of course. Because it is a bandwagon effect that is so easy to jump onto. Its the only war that they have a chance at winning. The real problems are not solvable so, they find this and produce all the propaganda that goes with it. Go ahead and argue the many points about why smoking is bad for you But let me say this. Has anyone ever been beaten to death with a cigarette or cigar??? How about stabbed, shot, smothered, or out of their mind crazy for being under the influence of tobacco??? No! Because its such a crock of bull.

They say smoking while driving is a distraction. So while those idiots talk on the cell phone, read the paper or magazine, use medication that causes drowsiness, drive under the influence of drugs and or alcohol, speed and get road rage, commit drive by shootings , don't forget those illegal window tinted cars that you can't see inside of that gets cops killed, plus many who drive unsafe vehicles. WOW! We can all feel Soooooo much safer after these terrible smokers are off the road.

"One Adam twelve, one Adam twelve. What's your location?"

"We're at the scene of the bank robbery and fatal shooting."

"One Adam Twelve ....... Drop the shooter/robbery suspect and proceed to I95 and see the man about a person smoking while driving."

"Ten Four Communications. We're on our way."



You say "what's the big deal?" Today its the rights of one group but tomorrow, it will be another target group that will eventually be yours.

"Lets see govnah, tobacco is gone and wine and spirits is a no no to go after. Who can we target now? I know, skateboards maybe or, oh, even better, people who wear hats while driving. It can be a big distraction you know."

Can anyone say Prohibition ??????????? How about Nazi rule ?????????? Saddam anyone ??????


Hail, hail the gangs all here

Big government got its way

Tommorrow another freedom we find

And send it on it's way

Greensboring to Greensbooming was one of the headline on the news tonight. Hehehehe. Man I had to laugh at that one. I have never thought of Greensboro as a boring place. There is so much to do over there even for singles.

You want to talk about boring, then trek over to Burlington. What can you find to do for fun there. Well, you can go out to eat, catch a movie, walk around at the Mall, go sit at the park, go to the car wash and hang out before the cops run you off, then find another car wash to hang at. Lets see, what else. Hmmm.................hmmmm........Still thinking. Go to the YMCA, go to a bar if your old enough but don't expect much, go bowling if you can afford it, maybe a ball game and oh yes, go walk around the Mall.

Talk about boring boring boring. The sidewalks roll up around 10Pm mostly and pretty much all the way at 11PM.

If you want excitement then you will have to go to the rough spots and maybe get the chance to see a fight or stabbing.

This City needs a music scene and I tried to get one started here or something that does not include shopping. A few other predecessors have tried also to get a music scene going here but, this town is full of old fuddy duddies. Not all are old fuddy duddies but more are than not. It is so boring in Burlington that many famous people or surviving spouses of people move here. The real Norma Ray lives within a stones throw from Borlington and there are others too. They want to get away from the lime light so they move there. Seriously folks.

So if you want boring, pass Greensboro and go to Borlington.

Had my Interview at Honda today and it looks pretty good so far. There was a ton to see in the plant and I may be a shoe in for second shift. It was one of those job fair deals where about two hundred people showed up. I was the first one there though. We were all informed that the hiring was for first and third shift. Most of the people, other than about fifteen or so, looked ho hum about everything. Non- confidant and all.

When the tour was over and most were in a hurry to leave, I decided to stay and ask a few more questions. The man who gave us the tour asked what my background was when I asked to talk to him. I also told him that I was interested in metal casting and had a mechanics degree. Not to mention my having been a warehouse manager in the past. He perked up and told me about positions that were open and that he was looking for people to fill. Then he asked me what shift I was trying for. Being that at the start of the job fair, we were told first and third shifts, I said either one. He replied "that figures." As the shift he was talking about was second and nobody seems to want second shift.
My brain went "Click" and I quickly replied that second shift was not a problem for me at all. He told me more about the casting job and then the warehousing job. He wanted me to schedule a testing session and come back for the metal casting department tour. Then unlike he had done with anyone else, he wanted my name and shook my hand.

I feel pretty darned good about it. For some reason today, my spirits were high and my confidence was way up before I got there. I dressed right, made my intentions clear, payed attention, took a few notes, made sure my body language exuded an air of confidence (not slouching but standing like I was in control of my destiny), without being arrogant, and took the extra step to seek him out for more information. I could go places here and let him know that I was the man for the job. Everything that I had noticed no one else was doing.

If my testing goes good, I might just step into a position that wasn't even being offered to the other 199 or so there. I'm pretty excited about the chance to work there and will do my best to do all I can to learn new jobs and move up. Finally, a place with a future instead of these dead end jobs for the last twenty some odd years. So I may have to be on second shift to start out with. But, sense nobody else like second shift, I may have just opened the door.

Damn I feel good about this one. Hope my bubble don't burst.

I may even be able to get my concert promotion gig rolling again now.

I Finished another chapter in one of my novels I'm writing. Its tough trying to work on two at once and I have let one collect a bit of dust on it. One has been sitting because it is a tale about a young boy and his struggle in life dealing with a mother who has a nervous breakdown. It rips the immediate and extended family apart leaving the young boy pretty much on his own. His main savior is time he gets to spend away at his grandmothers farm. While there, he can feel all the weight begin to lift from his shoulders. He does not fully grasp the situation as none of the adults around him speak to him about it. The family tries to keep it a secret from outsiders and thusly, the boy is in the dark and confused believing he may be going crazy too.


My other book is an adventure and the quest for justice for two men gunned down in Louisiana during the late sixties.

Writing can be a tough thing to do as ones who do not do it, do not understand the time you have to put into it. Being able to go there and visualize what you are putting down, takes a quiet spot. Its not something that you can do with someone looking over your shoulder or trying to direct you to which way to go with it. You have to get into it and feel what the characters are seeing, feeling and doing. The train of thought can be a very fragile thing. When the words are coming, sometimes on their own faster than you can put it down, an interruption can stop the flow dead in its tracks. Gone forever.
I'm one of those moody writers that has to be completely in my own space away from everything. I can't just stop in the middle of a thought and pick it up again later. I have to get it down right then.


Next
I learned something new today that made me say "WOW." Maybe I already knew it but forgot. Nay. I just learned it.

Peter Fonda has the same birth month and day as I. Another thing is that I can relate albeit to his mothers death.

Ahhhh. Finally Friday.

Well now its actually Saturday, but what the hey.

Today I had a talk with my boss .I told him the reason that I had to leave ,was not about him, but more that the insurance was costing me more than my house payment now. Every year it goes up and I just can't take anymore hits like that to my paycheck. I mean, close to $10,000 a year for family coverage is just plain robbery. (that's just part of the reason. No need to burn bridges)

He said that he understood and told me that I had done an excellent job over the years. Its just that there is no place else I can go to at the company. (that's because all the management spots and up are family)
I am stuck with no chance of promotion at this place. And after they told me if I stuck with them, several years ago, I would have the assistant manager position over logistics. I did this job already but without the pay. So be it.

The mill industry is going down the tubes and is so cut throat now-a-days anyway. NAFTA took care of that until now. CAFTA is going to finish it off if it gets passed. CAFTA is the new tapeworm that will eat away at more American jobs. It makes no sense to me how these big corporate giants think we are going to be able to purchase anything when there are no jobs left. Walmart and Kmart keep driving the prices down so cheap that with all of the slave labor products from overseas that they will finally fold too. But hey, the stock holders won't care until they have worthless stock on their hands from bankruptcy.

Are my Rants to long?

Are my rants to long? Who cares. They're my rants.

I read in the paper that blogs should be short and sweet. Well, poop on that comment. My blog is my way to vent my frustrations or whatever about whatever. You don't have to worry about interruptions and someone trying to sway you about what is on your mind. You can just spit it all out.


Have a nice day Mr. Paper writer.

Where are all the real jobs?


Where are all the real jobs? I mean the ones that 95% of the working class are looking for. Looking in the paper I see jobs for management, computer specialists, healthcare, therapists of all sorts, corporate execs, book keepers and so on. It just seems to keep going in the way of either high end 4 year degree jobs or low end jobs that pay only enough for you to buy gas to get to work. Also, everyone wants you to have experience for even the worst jobs. Here is one that I have seen many times over my years. Even back when I was a twenty year old looking for work. The job, Parts counter sales help. Every single ad that I've ever seen wanted the candidate to have two years prior experience. Now how in the world does anyone get two years experience, when you already have to have, two years experience????

There was another job that I came across a week or so ago. It made me scratch my head but I can't remember now exactly what the job was. The ad did say though that they wanted an entry level assistant manager. Willing to train the right person. Qualifications were, you had to be at least twenty years old and have a four year degree. Starting salary was somewhere around $20,000 to $28,000 a year to start depending on experience.
Now, if a person that is twenty and holds a four year degree in anything, wouldn't be looking for a job that paid that little now would they? Nah! They'd be some kind of fricken genius already heading up some multi-million dollar start up that began in Mom and Dads basement.

Job interviews now at my age are hard to get. Everyone wants the kid who went to State Party Central University and slept his/her way through school on mamma's and daddies money. It does not matter that the kid partied and stayed drunk the whole time screwing anything that walked. They squeaked by and got a four year degree because they wanted to be kids until their twenties living off the parents. They have no work experience but get the job anyway and kill companies because they don't know how to work. These are the ones that I suspect want to send all the jobs overseas to boost corporate earnings. They are the bullshitters that know how to manipulate and are spoiled brats. They are also the ones who don't pay their college loans back because Mom and Dad will cover their butts again as usual. They believe that everything is owed to them and take no responsibility for their actions. These are the ENRON TYPES. The ones that run for government office so they never have to actually do anything productive. They are the cheaters.

The ones that actually did earn their degree, can't get a job in their field because they don't know how to manipulate and bully. So they wind up digging ditches or working in fast food to pay back their college loan. They won't allow Mom and Dad to pick up after them and bail them out of a tight. These are the ones who worked while going to college and the ones that I'd want heading up a corporate giant. I'd work for this type of degree holder anytime. These people have worth that companies are to blind to see.

People like me are over qualified as I have been told so many times. What the hell is that? Over qualified. It's another way to say your to old and we don't want you because you may actually know something about how things really work in the real world.

Franchises are all the rage now. But get this hoopla. To open one up you have to have a net worth near $500,00 some $1,000,000 and have a few $100,000 in the bank already. If I was worth that much I'd already be on easy street and wouldn't need a franchise. I'd be hanging with Hugh Hefner and vacationing at the Hawaiian Islands with a bunch of women in topless bikinis.

But sometimes, doing nothing is the best thing an article in the paper by James A. Fussell from the Knight Ridder News Service.

I was glad to see this article in the paper as it hits home with me. It talks about parents who keep their children so busy and on the go with sports, or dance, or chores and everything else that is planned out for them. The kids are not allowed to have any time to just be themselves. Parents are so afraid what other parents will think of them if they do not keep every second, minute and waking hour occupied. These over zealous parents believe that their children should be stimulated by all these things else waste limited time that we have all been given. Children do not get enough down time to explore and just be themselves.

Quote from article "First, experts say, your kids have tons of things to stimulate them. They have toys, books, bikes, friends, rooms and a whole world to explore -- in the backyard or simply inside their own heads. It's not your job to find them something to do. It's theirs. A missed opportunity? Boredom is an opportunity for personal growth."

The article also says that Award-winning journalist and author Anna Quindlen credited boredom with helping her become who she is as a writer and a human being.
"Downtime," she wrote, "is where we become ourselves, looking into the middle distance, kicking at the curb, lying on the grass or sitting on the stoop and staring at the tedious blue of the summer sky. I don't believe you can write poetry, or compose music without downtime, and plenty of it --- a hiatus that passes for boredom but is really the quiet moving of the wheels inside that fuel creativity."

Here here I say. Thank you Anna for these profound statements.
My wife is just one of those parents who has to guide our child through every aspect of his life. She does everything for him and hovers over him constantly. She will not even give up the baby monitor in his room to ours, and he is eleven years old. When he goes to the bathroom, she always hollers out to him "are you okay in there?"

He does have some physical problems that he has had to overcome, but he is able to do almost everything that a normal child can do. I had to battle her about her always wiping his behind for him. She said that he needs help because its hard for him. I said that yes that was true. However, he needs to find a way to do it himself. You can't keep doing that.

She was still cutting his food up for him and would not let him use a knife, until I stood fast and made him do it much to her displeasure. She kept saying that he needed help. My two cents is that he will never be able to do anything if she doesn't stop doing it for him. He can put on his own socks and shoes because I taught him how. But he continues to get her to do it because he says its to hard. She gets mad at me when he comes to me asking that I put them on for him and I make him do it himself. He tries half ass'd at it until she takes over and does it. It causes much friction between she and I. I have to battle the both of them. He takes the easy way out because that is how she has made it and it is how he thinks it should be.

She has wrapped her whole life around his wants and needs that anything that I need or want does not matter.
I love him too, but he needs to learn, more than most kids, that he needs to be self sufficient. People have joked that when he goes off to college, that she will find a way to be at his school just as she has done in kindergarten, elementary and now middle school. I can't get her to understand that he needs to learn and do things himself. I can just see it now when he gets married. My wife will want to go on his honeymoon and he will want her to go.

Both of them think that my writing and reading is a waste of time. She thinks that every waking moment should entail a work related task. From the time you wake up until the time you go to sleep. It drives me crazy. She used to try and run my life to, and she did for years. When I finally said I'd had enough and did things that she didn't want me to do, it angers her to no end. I can still remember her messing up in a conversation with one of my brothers. I had decicded to do something that I wanted to do. She said to him that she was losing control of me and didn't know what to do. I don't try to control her or tell her what she can or can not do. What makes her think she has the right to control my life?

One day he just might stand up to her and tell her to get her own life. He will have to because otherwise, he will have no life of his own unless she gives him permission.

Funny Thought

I had a funny though today. Well, maybe you had to be there......., errr, here.
My wife had given one of our dogs some fresh water in her bowl. Dogs being dogs, she lapped up some and then evidently, as usual, dripped some on the floor. I didn't know that she had just had some water though. My feet were hot in my work boots and I had taken them off. Going into the kitchen to get me something to drink; I stepped right in the spilled water bowl water. All that I had on was my socks. I cursed under my breath " Damn it. I stepped in some wet water!"

Then I had to laugh at myself. I stepped in some wet water? As opposed to what? Some dry water. hehehehe



Just another thought here.
Why is it that my son can be home with his mother all day. Then when I get home he decides that he has to talk to her endlessly and interrupt whenever she and I try to talk. He follows her through the mansion to every room just yak yak yak.
Then we sit down to dinner and he's still talking. Finally he finishes and I'll ask his mother something and then just as she is in mid-sentence, here he goes again about whatever. So I scold him but I get the look from the both of them. "He was trying to tell me something!" she says

"I've been waiting an hour just to say hi. He is being rude and you are taking up for him." I say

there's that look again.

As she turns to him. "Go ahead honey. What were you saying."

Arrrgh. I can't win. Its them against me.

Alright, so now I ask him a question and the answer comes from the other direction, from her.
Then I'll ask her a question and the answer comes from him. They speak for each other and it drives me nuts.
Can't have a conversation with just one. Its giving me whip lash.

The only one on my side is the dog. She looks at me with that confused look as if to say " Wooley. I thought you asked the other one. Why did that one answer?"

So I ask her. "I don't know dog. So, how was your day? Catch any cats?"

I TOLD THE BOSS

WELL AFTER ALL THESE YEARS OF WORKING AT THE SAME PLACE AND GETTING NO WHERE, I told the boss that I was starting the search for another job. He certainly acted as if he could have cared less about it. He just looked up over his desk at me and said " Well ok then." And he went back to what he was doing without a second thought. Just the other week I told the wife that they were trying to get me to quit. The way I have been treated by the owner and the boss has been down right offensive.

I have been at the same place now for eleven years. My last raise was back in September of 1998. Every year or two, the company gets another Health Insurance carrier and the cost keeps going up. They just did it again and I just can not afford the $386 and some change every two weeks for family coverage. My bring home pay is now half of what I earn and I can't make ends meet at all anymore. We don't get cost of living increases ever. I make $500 a week and we are paid every two weeks. The check before deductions is $1,000. My take home pay has dropped mostly because of insurance to $515 for two weeks work. That means that I only bring home around $255 and some change for each week. I can not survive off of that.

Four years ago I went job searching. For two days in a sense, I had three full time jobs. Two companies told me that I had the job. I told one of the companies that I had to decline as I had gotten a better offer from the other one. The next day they called me back and offered me more money to come with them. I again said thank you, but I had already taken the other job.

I went to work and told my boss that I had been offered another job. Much to my dismay, his jaw dropped as he stood there dumb founded. He pulled me aside and asked if I was happy there and if not, why not. I told him the reasons and he said to let him try to at least get me a pay raise. I reminded him that I had taken on extra load at work that was not in my job description over the years. They had even given me much more responsibility over the years after canning one of the bosses and actually, I was doing that bosses old job. But without the pay and my boss even admitted that I was the only employee that he had ever had that always went the extra mile for the company. He could not think of the last time that I had called in sick to work. He went as far to mention that I never seemed to use all of my vacation days in a year. If he was out on vacation for a week or gone on business for a day or two, I was expected to handle things. And I did.

Anyway, he went to talk to the big man to get me a raise to get me to stay. He came back and told me (I have it written down in my daily minder) that I was at the top of my pay scale for my position. I said. " That may be true however, I have been doing the same job as well as mine all of this time. I took it upon myself to learn the other job to make myself more valuable to this company and have not been compensated for it."
He agreed and said that at the moment things were tight but that if I stayed, they would get me a raise in a few months. He even told me that he wanted me to stay on and that they would take care of me. So I told him what the other company had offered me pay wise. I was told that they couldn't go that high but could within a dollar or so.
He made me a promise if I would stay on.

So, I stayed and did all that I had been and even more. Several months went by and still no raise. So I reminded the boss in a neutral way about it. I was told I'd have to wait a little longer. So I did. A year as a matter of fact. Then I asked again a couple of more times. Each time I asked he would get angrier. Finally one day he just blew up in my face about it telling me that I wasn't getting a raise until he did and he wouldn't discuss it any further. I mean he got spit spewing mad. Being that the economy is not the best he felt, as did I with a family to support, that he had me.

As time went by, one of the other employees and I noticed that the pay freeze had been lifted this spring as all of the truck drivers at our small company received raises. Many of them went out and finally got new vehicles. We even noticed that some new positions came open and they hired some additional employees to boot. Then the boss and his brother in-law and the owners wife all got new vehicles within weeks of each other. The boss and I had been getting along fine for awhile now and I just knew that I was going to be finally getting , these four years later, a raise.

All of a sudden this new guy starts coming each day and having meetings with the boss near closing time. The other employee and I began to get suspicious. The boss started acting like an ass to us but more to me. The following week, the new guy comes to work there. He has no time card so that means that he is salaried. We still have not been told this third month, officially by anyone that he is now our boss. But, we do find out from others.

Customers bypass him and come to me when the boss man isn't there. They don't like dealing with him because he won't make a decision and does not know the job. I have had to teach him how to do things in his job and it makes me angry as these are things he should already know how to do. I always act like I'm willing to help him as its not his fault for me being passed over again and getting screwed. But I don't have the desire to do all of the extra things that I had been doing all these last years. That's his job and he is the one getting paid to do it. So let him do it.

Customers ask me why didn't they give me that position as they have been dealing with me for years. Other employees ask the same question and I just shake my head. The company took on another warehouse and wanted me to work it as I have done in years past. And I have been doing it. Its a one man operation there, as the others that I did for them. But I still can't get a raise because I am at the top of my pay scale. Well that pay scale was in 1998 and its now 2005, seven years and some months later.

Other employees and customers as well,they tell me I've been screwed and I know it myself now. My boss used me and lied to me and he knows he did me dirty. That's the reason he started acting like an ass to me because he knows what he did. Besides, this place is a family owned business and all the top top positions are family. There is no one to go to like a regular business. They will protect their own and not give a hoot about us, the employees. I bought into the lies and untruths time and time again. Now I feel like a puppet and violated. I put to much worth and faith into their words and empty promises. I've seen how they screwed others and should have seen it coming.

This whole ordeal has made me feel like a big loser. I always gave 110% and never bawked at what I was asked to do. I just smiled and did it wanting to be the company man and what has it gotten me. It takes most of my two paychecks now just to pay my house note. My transmission has gone out on my truck and I'm having to borrow a vehicle when I can't get the wife's car. I can't afford to fix the truck.

To put it in a nut shell, I'm so depressed and the wife is riding my butt about the money all the time. Its all that I can do to get out of bed everyday and her yelling at me every time I turn around does not help. She makes snide comments about the smallest things and has no time for me and won't have a simple conversation with out yelling and putting me down. Most often right in front of our son. And it hurts me so bad that she said she has no respect for me after what all we have been through together all of these years. And believe me when I say, its been more than most couples have to go through. Most couples would have never made it through the first two years of marriage having to deal with what we have had to deal with. She just wants to badger and argue about anything and somehow she turns the conversation to be about her. If I say the sky is blue she'll say its cloudy. The dead grass is brown she'll say its green.
We are just room mates now and nothing else for many reasons. Sometimes now I just wish that I'd not wake up at all. But I brush myself off and try to get through another day.

Not to mention that when we got married in 1992, from the very start I was doing odd jobs on the side to try and get ahead, and I quit being at every ones beck and call in 2003. Now everyone says that I'm lazy and what's wrong with me. Of course, these people have never worked like that for that long a time day in day out. I was expected to go along with what everyone wanted me to do regardless of what I wanted to do. It was very hot and tiring work and after sweating in summer heat and freezing in the winter it finally has taken its toll on me. My job is very physically demanding and now at my age I'm just worn out from the heat and heavy labor.


So to end this post, I'll say that I am looking for a better job now. Its time for me to move on as it just keeps getting worse each day.

ALL A DREAM

Just a shadow of who you thought you wanted to be
You’ve tried a lot of things but pursued nothing
Used to dream of a life with multiple pleasures
Thought that if you work hard enough , long enough
That you would redeem all of your treasures

But its all just a dream
Its just all in a dream
Just a dream just a dream
Things we are taught growing up

Its not in reality the scheme of things
Always told keep your nose to the grindstone
Hard work will be noticed and you’ll soon move up
Keep putting in your time working overtime
When you add it all up still not worth a dime

Promises made you decided and stayed
Oh but you soon found out , they all had lied
Thought that if you worked hard enough
That you would redeem all your treasures

But its all a dream ,its just all a dream
Just a dream just a dream just a dream
Just a dream, things we are taught...growing up


Plr 61502

Last Thursday, I had a brush with what I thought would be my last day on this earth. My day job, that I took eleven years ago to pay the bills until I found something I really wanted to do, had a nasty turn. I was detained most of the day by the HawriverPolice & Fire Dept, Alamance County Sheriffs Dept as well as Homeland Security and the FBI. Finally, the Graham Fire Department also was brought in to the fold.

How it all began was this. I work for a trucking and warehousing firm based in Burlington NC and we have another warehouse that is in Hawriver NC. We store products for the Mill industry mostly, and get in shipping Containers from different Countries from time to time. These are large metal Boxes hauled by Semi trucks in case you don't know what I am talking about. Not to be confused with the normal everyday Rigs hauling trailers across our country.

The first Container arrived at eight a.m and the driver and I broke the seal to open it up. Being that I mostly work this warehouse by myself, I began to unload some boxes off of the back of it. Pulling a box down, a bunch of powder fell off of the top of the box covering me. This powder made a dust cloud that was lingering around me and it had a funny taste to it and smell. I thought, "Jeez. What is that?." As I continued to unload cases while the driver was in his cab doing his paperwork, I came across a strange silver tube. I stopped and took a look at it to see what it was. This tube had several red skull and cross bones on it to tell you its poison. Being that this load was from Taiwan, most of the language was unreadable to me. But the Skulls made it plain that it was something deadly. Under one skull written in English it said "Poison" and under another was written "Gift." This gave me an alarming feeling because in all my years working with these things I've never seen one of these.

Being that I was already covered in it, I picked it up and showed it to the driver and asked him if HE had ever seen one before. His reply was no and he looked it up in his Hazard Material book to see what it was. It turned out to be a vile for a nerve gas that is deadly if inhaled as well as absorbed through the skin. At the moment the name of the chemical escapes me but it was a phosphorous gas compound.
There is know phone at this warehouse, other than a cell phone that the company finally purchased for my use. You can only use it outside because of the building and its being in a hole on the outskirts of town.

I called my boss to let him know what I had found and had to wait fifteen minutes or so before his arrival. In the mean time, I found another vial in the container as well and powder all over the place. The boss arrived and made some calls about what I had found. The driver was also making calls to his dispatcher on his cell and the Hazmat Hot line. The authorities were called and the first on the scene was from the Hawriver Fire Dept. Their hazmat man knew squat and after getting some info, told me to get out of my clothes and get a shower as fast as I could. This stuff was extremely deadly. I told him that I had no place to do that there other than a sink .My wife was already on the way with a change of clothes for me to and then I could drive my truck without contaminating it too. He said that I needed to do what he said right now and get to a shower, don't wait. My wife arrived, I changed and double bagged my uniform and boots. Then I rushed home to do as he said. My wife had already made it home while I had been at work changing. She met me coming through the garage and hosed me down with cold water from the garden hose.
As she was doing this, the home phone rang and it was the boss saying that I was to get back to the warehouse as fast as I could. The Hazard Material team had to put us through a de-contamination shower on site. Soaking wet and with another change of clothes, I rushed back worried.

Upon arrival, I saw vehicles from all the local agencies and was informed that Homeland Security was on the way as well as the FBI. They instructed us to stay in one spot in the lot in partial shade area. The spot they picked for us was a pile of gravel and asphalt. My boss and the driver were already in that spot when I arrived. My boss went to his vehicle to retrieve his cell phone and called his wife. Then he walked over to one of the men acting in charge to ask him a question and was yelled at to get back over to the pile and sit down. Roughly two minutes later, a Sheriffs Deputy was sent over to keep us under armed guard. He said he was sent over because we were wandering and pacing around to much.
Well, we were quite worried as you might imagine and no one was telling us anything. Basically at one point we were told to just shut up and be quiet. The Deputy kept watching us with his hand on the butt of his Pistol.
We were being treated as criminals when in fact, especially in regards to myself, we were the victims in this whole ordeal.

We watched as all the Departments set up command posts and brought in food and drink for all of them not thirty feet away from us. The driver asked the Deputy if they were going to feed us and give us something to drink as well. The deputy told him he was worse than a little kid with so many questions and to just sit down. It was 90+ degrees outside and a couple of hours had passed. A fireman came over to see if we would like something to drink. It was then that the man in charge told us that until they found out what this substance was; we could not have anything to eat or drink. We had to sit there and watch as all these people milled around eating and drinking their lunch within our sight. Nobody even offered us anything in the way of comfort.

Now remember, I was told to rush back so we could be put through a decontaminating shower. I was covered in this powder at around eight thirty a.m that I was told was extremely deadly. It is absorbed through the skin as well as by inhalation. And here we sit, sweating in 90+ degree temperature and its after twelve o'clock. Three and a half hours later.

(Continued tomorrow)

A friend and I became partners in something that we had hoped would help up and coming musicians and worthy causes. Our first charity was the Victory Junction Gang camp in Randleman NC. These people do extraordinary things for children in need of a good time like the could not experience anywhere else.
We created Project Stepping Stone for this purpose. Based in North Carolina, we worked hard to put on a show using two groups, Abe Reid and the SpikeDrivers and Lee Tyler Post.
Abe and his boys are a Boogie Woogie, stomp and rock trio. Lee Tyler Post is a Texas Bluesman working out of Nashville Tn. Both of these acts put on a hell of a show playing great sets.

Now My partner and I put in many hours and months to make this whole thing happen in my home town of Burlington NC. We made and distributed posters and placed ads. The Venue that we used, The Paramount Theatre, even did some radio spots for us. I won't go into all of the sorded details but several people let us down in their areas and we lost out and went broke in one night. We had already had another concert set up with two different acts and deposits paid.

Only four people showed for the concert as there was much confusion by a certain party for another band to play the same weekend at, the same venue. The other group was booked in very short notice as to which we absoulutely had no time to act and bump up our ads.
When show time came for us, with only four people in attendance, I was asked if we would proceed. I asked the bands, and they both stated that they were there to play and it was my call. I said the show would go on, and it did. These bands played extra long sets for the patrons who definatly recieved their monies worth and then some.

My partner had made the promise that we would pay to acts we hire the night of the shows. So we stood by what we saidon any and all agreements, which is a rarity in the music business I've been told. We lost a good amount of money and it hurt us enough that we had to cancel the next months concerts. We were trying to bring some great music for the younger croud to this City of much older generation that is set in their ways and not up to this type of thing. We had the blessing of the City and many business owners wanting us to make this an annual event here. But none of the people that we had blessings from showed up for the show either.

We had to close the doors for now, but I hope to give it another try. I fear that my partner has washed his hands of it being that he put up most of the funds to pay the bands and lost it. I paid for everything else related to the show and we did pay all of our debts which helped put us in the hole farther. However, we did what we said we would do and stuck by our guns, seeing it through. It was one of the toughest business lessons of my life and I learned alot about the music business that many will never know. At least we learned all of our lessons in one night, so next time, we'll be ahead of the game and trust nothing to chance. Others will let you down and not come through for you. Its a rough business to get into and is not for the thin skinned. Thats for sure.